Never Once

Current Jam:


I spent this past weekend with Lindsay. We've been dating for a month now (which at times it seems incredible how fast 1 month went) and we're starting to uncover each others spiritual and emotional intricacies that make us who we are. Aside from being super excited to see her after 2 weeks and meeting many many new people (all of whom were great), I was really looking forward to a conversation that we had today. It began with talking about vulnerability and apathy and just more of an overall, "this is what I'm struggling with" kinda deal. Something that has been key in our relationship is God's faithfulness. I whole-heartedly believe that God brought us together for his glory. Whether we get old and die together, or we're only together a few more months, God has a plan and is teaching both of us something that we cannot be taught without pursuing this relationship. More importantly is the fact that God is revealing himself to me through Lindsay, in a way that cannot be understood without her.

The song above had been on my heart a lot recently after I heard it Friday night when it was playing in Katie's car when I was dropping Linds off with her. (maybe some background of what happened this weekend would be helpful. Friday I went to Eastern, got a tour and met some cool people, then went to an amazing campfire with more cool people before heading to lancaster to drop Lindsay off with Katie for the night. In the morning my friend Jarrod got married, which Lindsay, Katie, Jake and I attended. Post wedding and reception, Lindsay and I watched a movie at my house whilst awaiting Shelby to arrive at her house for the second of Lindsay's sleepovers in as many days. Sunday morning I played drums at two services at church and then played some good football before a great nap and then around 8 I headed out to meet Lindsay to head back to Eastern for the night. Back at Eastern I went to a worship service and then played Dutch blitz with Addison and Linds till maybe 1:30? I stayed with Addison and his roommates (cool guys) for the night and woke up around 7:45 to get up and go to breakfast with more people. After breakfast we were debating spontaneously driving to the beach but that was denied through availability of the current party, which turned out to be a better option because Lindsay and I then just traipsed the campus before settling at the base of a tree to indulge in the aforementioned conversation. Then I drive home.)(You may need to reread the beginning of this paragraph.) So whenever I had an opportunity, I was playing the song "Never Once". It is such a declaration of who God is to me all the time, even when I don't necessarily realize his presence. It reminds me that there has never been a time that I was alone. Even though I may feel so, it hasn't happened. That's not because of God not revealing Himself, It's because of me not seeking Him. As I was spending my time with Lindsay I continued to meditate on the lyrics of the song and apply it to our relationship. Even though she was at school and i was being a bum at home, we weren't alone, we are together. While we aren't physically right beside each other, my thoughts, prayers and actions are focused in such a way that we are. God reveals himself all the more through this because the action should be the same. Except, God is physically beside me at all times, though not visible, or necessarily tangible, He can be felt, He can heal, He can speak, He can listen. "You are faithful, God, You are faithful."

Balance

Current Jam:


This song just speaks to me as a person, as one half of a relationship or friendship, as a part of a small group, as a part of the body of Christ. We each have our own, unique voices that are beautiful, and when we put them together it creates more beauty and wonder.

The question then becomes, how loud do I sing, how quiet, which harmony. The trick is finding that balance that evens out the scales, keeps the teams fair, allows siblings to have the same amount of dessert.

Balance is the current theme running through my mind. How to balance the transition from camp to not camp, from community living to my own room/house, from seeing Linds every day to every couple days, every week, every 2 weeks... Not saying that not being able to see her all the time is a bad thing, just different and causes me to shift my weight to balance a boat. Sometimes I'll shift too much and the boat will flip, but thus is life. Just get back in and keep going.

I was reading in Matthew 5-7 today (the sermon on the mount) and some verses stood out to me.
Matthew 6 "19Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, 20 but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
The balance the incurs when we live in a materialistic society in the United States, where I have money to buy lots of stuff, and have lots of stuff worth more money than I have to spend. With all the stuff that there is, where is the balance? Where does the line come in that shows that I'm storing up on earth? I'm definitely attached to my computer, guitar, car. I guess I should let them go because they can rust and be stolen? I'm just having a hard time fully comprehending the truth and value in this verse. I also have a hard time thinking I'm fine where I'm at because so many other people have stored up way much more than I have and therefore I am better than them. That's when I think about India, Africa, Asia. What do they have to store up? Food? Dirt? Fabric? No, They are storing up treasures in Heaven. Love, Hope, Generosity, Humility. I want to desire these attributes in my life. I just have to find that balance.

Party Rock

I can't get this song out of my head.



It's been a while since I have endeavored to put my thoughts and feelings and emotions into a somewhat sensible, written form. I am not going to attempt to conquer them tonight but I just thought that I should let you know that I plan on getting back into writing often since I am not consumed with Camp. Some things that you readers should know that has happened since last writing are: I have a current furious passion for great chill, celticish music. I have a long standing desire to pursue Music in some shape or form while furthering my education somewhere that has yet to be looked into. I just finished my fifth summer at Black Rock Retreat. It was one of the most trying summers yet because of a switch up of my role from counseling to program, however it was the most rewarding summer in terms of growth and relational bonds formed and strengthened. I am in a relationship with an amazing person!

Be On Guard

“Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything with love.” 1 Corinthians 16:13-14.

A couple weeks ago I was at a prayer night with some of my good friends and the essence of these verses came to my head while we were praying for me. I didn’t know the reference at the time but just the idea of standing firm was repeating in my head. Now yesterday at Church I was reading along with my pastor as he was preaching on the end of 1 Corinthians. I was slightly uninterested in the fact that Paul himself was writing the last couple verses and not letting a scribe write for him, so my eyes wandered the page. It was a really cool realization for me since I had prayed that verse over myself with these guys, weeks before I knew that it was an actual verse.

The part that was resonating in my head a couple weeks ago was stand firm in the faith. Just to hold to what you believe. Recently I’ve been somewhat purposefully questioning what I believe more so in regards to church services and what that should entail but also in regards to my personal journey through life. I haven’t really come up with any conclusions yet but I really feel that God is going to take the Church somewhere that it’s never been and all the churches that follow his lead will be blessed. Not that the churches that don’t follow will be cursed, but something is going to happen and the Church needs to follow, whether it’s similar to tradition, or it’s completely different.

But more so in the past few days I’ve been thinking about the, “be on guard” part. There are so many different ways that the enemy can steer you into dead ends and off roads and where you aren’t supposed to be. Now I’m still trying to figure out where I should be. However, that really isn’t my concern, I’ll end up where God wants me to be whether I tried to get there or not. The worst is when Satan throws thoughts in your head, but when there are also pure thoughts. Which is which? I find it so hard to distinguish between pure desires and corrupt desires. Maybe sometimes I think that the corrupt desire is actually a pure desire until I’m neck deep in a situation and realize, “hey, you aren’t God.” Then on the contrary, I don’t follow pure desires sometimes because I think it will be to hard to do, or it’s easier to follow the corrupt ones. As I’m writing this I feel like Paul a little bit in Romans 7-8. He’s writing about how his sin causes him to do wrong things that he does not want to do because he wants to do the right thing. But him talking about this isn’t to complain, so don’t get that idea. The answer to his questions is Christ Jesus. Then Chapter 8 starts with “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” He isn’t complaining about his desire to do good things but his nature is to do bad things. He’s simply acknowledging this and letting the church know that it’s human to fail and fail a lot.

This is not an actual experience just a thought/story.

What does a touch mean in today’s culture? What does a simple graze of the fingers when exchanging a bag or an ipod, or a high five that lingers way longer than it should, or a one of those really long friendly hugs imply. The mind will take these completely harmless things and turn them into a multitude of questions that can drive someone crazy. Now, say this “touchy feely” attitude from a girl towards a guy continues throughout a few weeks. What’s the impression that the guy is getting? As a guy I’m getting, hey this girl likes me. Ok so now I think this girl likes me. Ok that’s cool; let’s see where it goes. I ask her out/tell her about how I’m feeling. Sweet things are good; we start to hang out more and more. Here’s where things unwind in my mind. When things are completely fine, everything’s great, she runs. Why, where are you going, why are you running, nothing bad is happening, it’s actually good for both of us and you know it. So why run. What are you running to? Oh right, nothing, because you are running from something. If you don’t have anything to run to, why are you running from something good? I could understand if things weren’t going well or there are things that we are struggling through or we don’t live near each other. You’re running from me to nothing, I didn’t do anything, but you are running. You can’t run forever. Maybe you’ll eventually start running to something but right now, you have no relational goals. Maybe in the future you’ll come back, I’ll let you go, but maybe you’ll come back. But Maybe I won’t be here when you do.

Shout outs to Anonymous

The following is a description of some important people in my life, without mentioning their real names (I used fake ones)

(in no particular order)
Hannah - you are a great female friend of mine. Even in the short ish amount of time that I’ve really known you, we’ve developed a strong bond that I hope continues to grow stronger. At first it took multiple hours of shopping and eating dinner and driving for me to even attempt to open up but since then I’ve been so encouraged by your strength given all circumstances involved in your life. And despite your troubles, you still find time to hold your friends up when they are struggling. You are truly an inspiration.

Annie – you are also a great female friend. I’ve known you longer than Hannah, but still, it hasn’t been all that long of a time, especially looking at the times we’ve actually been in the same neighborhood. In the past couple of months, our friendship has been renewed immensely and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. Sometimes you care and focus too much on other people and school and work that you forget to give yourself time to relax. You are realizing this though, so it’s time to work on that!

Michael – I’ve known you all my life and we’ve been around each other for most of that time. The past few years we’ve been going our separate ways but that’s growing up I guess. Over those past few years you’ve matured a lot. I kind of don’t want you to have matured sooo much because that means less stupid fun, but it does mean more meaningful conversation and experiences, which I guess are more important. We won’t ever completely lose our idiocy, so that’s good. I am looking forward to a summer full of you.

Gary – Well, similarly to Michael, the past few years we have experienced less and less of each other. Again, thus is life. You are or maybe you were once my biggest competition in anything. Sports, music, school. You won most battles, but I relished in your defeats. I am always encouraged by your intellectual point of view and you bring me to see things from angles that I hadn’t before seen. I shall see you soon my brother, you ridiculously good looking Man.

Kelly – We’ve definitely had our ups and downs. But through it all we are still somehow friends. You’ve been there for me when I desperately needed it, and vice versa. You are a gorgeous young woman after God’s heart and you care for everyone way too much more that you care about yourself. However, you want to be successful, and to this point, I think you’ve done that. You’ve struggled through school and jobs and you are still going strong, even if you don’t feel like you are. For everything about yourself that you think is bad, there are two great qualities.

Chris – You and I basically run together, and not physically either. I’ve known you for the shortest amount of time on this list but since then it’s just been good time after great time after fantastic time. I really love playing music with you whenever. It’s just a freeing feeling because for the most part when we play it’s not about structure or routine but it’s about just having fun and really enjoying what we are doing.

Johnny – We should hang out more than we do but that’s coming hopefully. I love the randomness that ensues after we decide to chill or hangout or whatever. We’ve had some great talks while my car died and hopefully many more to come, sans the car dying part.

Jack – Dude, I miss you and late nights just because that’s what is supposed to happen. I am always encouraged by your heart for God, it’s so strong and really amazes me, but it also challenges me because awesome things are happening in your life so therefore I want great things to happen to me which in turn causes me to strive toward God more.

MMM Smoothie

I have recently felt like my life was thrown in a blender and now I’m trying to figure out all the ingredients. 1 of them is work, which I do every weekday 11-5 and Saturdays 11-9. It’s definitely worth it to be working, but sometimes I just want to be doing something else. I’ll get there eventually I guess. Ingredient 2 is youth group. I love hanging out with some of the older guys and gals at my youth group and leading all of them in worship. The Sr. High guys small group that I started is also going pretty well. They haven’t really opened up to sharing with everyone yet but they are a lot of fun to just hang out with. Ingredient 3 is Church. Being a key member of multiple worship teams for Sunday services is great, but it also means me being at the church by 7 for first service practice, running out of that service around 8:45 to get to third service practice, which needs to end around 9:40 because of Sunday school. By the time we lead for the third service I am extremely tired and don’t really enjoy being there anymore. On top of that, other worship leaders don’t have guitarists or percussionists and they want me to join, which for everyone else in the church is what I should do. (However, me playing would make the music a lot better in my opinion.), but I can’t be on every team, it’s just too much. I think ingredient 4 would have to be friendships and just hanging out. I try to spend as much time as I can with my close friends. My work schedule and their school/homework schedules don’t always work out, but I do my best to see Jake, Barry, Darren, Katie, Josh, and Jeremy every week. There are many more ingredients being mixed together but I’m still trying to figure them out and how predominant they are in the smoothie of my life. Music is in there, writing/reading is there, and video games are another flavor mixed in there. The great thing about it is that God is the one doing all the blending so he kind of fits into all of these aspects (when I decide that he’s allowed to join.)

On another note, I thoroughly enjoy being 21 and going to Annie Bailey’s to hang out with others of that age and older. On the non-busy nights, (non weekends) it is extremely relaxing and fun. I’m learning what kind of drinks I like and which ones I don’t enjoy which helps in me actually knowing what I’m doing at a bar and not fumbling over what exactly I want or am trying to order.

Death to Life

It's been a while but since you all enjoy and desire my thoughts so incredibly much, I'll offer them to you for free today.

A theme that has been resounding in my life recently is Death and all his friends, Life and all his peers and resurrection and whoever he knows. More specifically, how When you come to know Christ, you are no longer someone who is dead, you are someone who was dead, and now is no longer dead. You are resurrected from sin. I think a lot of why society doesn't get why I am a christian or why others are christians/ other than we are arrogant SOB's sometimes/ is that a large portion of the Bible is talking about not what is material, but what we need faith to believe in. It's in the heart, soul, spirit, mind. When you come to know Jesus you don't actually come out of your moms belly for the second time. You don't suddenly wake up somewhere else with a new, perfect body. What changes is your heart and spirit. Your motives change, who you are at your core, is now being perfected by God and not sin.

On Saturday I was at a conference. Yes Lecrae was performing a concert that night there, but that's not what I want to talk about (even though it was sick. Especially Reilly. If you don't know, look em up. Violin Rock. ok moving on). It's called Vision Conference, and apparently it's pretty big, I hadn't heard of it before. Sponsored by a bunch of missions organizations, the big one being compassion, the conference is about Missions and how students (geared toward youth groups) can help out in the world. (Similar to YoWAW which is PCA sponsored) Bob Lenz was the speaker (really popular speaker to youth) The first session is the one that stood out to me the most although it was kind of the least missional. He went back to basics with Grace and Faith which has been hitting me in the face again and again. Colossians tells us to do everything for God's Glory, 24/7 365. I don't know about you, but that's a long time to be focusing everything that I have or that i'm doing on God. Is it possible, well Jesus did it but that's about it... but the idea that it is possible is not the reason for doing it. The reason for attempting is because God wants us to attempt, he is our desire and our desire as christians is to honor him in everything. At least it should be. Maybe sometimes we don't want to or are too tired to. We are human we can't help that, but we need to try to help that. We can't get into heaven by being good enough, or walking the righteous road, or being a know it all. The only way we can enter heaven is By Grace Through Faith... Eph 2:8-9.

Now, Grace is a gift, given by Christ because he bled and died for us then rose again to show that death has indeed been defeated. Ok so we take this gift, now i'm saved. I can do whatever I want. WRONG the exact opposite, Now i'm saved I can do whatever God wants. The point of Grace is not to allow us to just accept it and move on and live for whatever again. The point of it is that It doesn't matter how we live, It's never going to be enough, Never. There is nothing in our earthly power that can help us achieve heaven or God. Only through God can we find God. (confusing?)

The rest of the conference was really focused on going out and spreading the Gospel which is right above here, to those who don't know. Now that you are Following God as best as you can, He can send you into the world, making disciples. God gave this gift of grace free to us. Why don't we then give freely to others?

I'm back working again, which is a nice change of pace and has been helping me get into a good routine with working out and playing music and life is just moving quite well in my opinion right now. Which is why I found myself able to sponsor this little guy from Ethiopia. His name is Abebe Kuma and he's 4 years old. He looks pretty fly in his picture on the sponsor card that I have, which is one of the reasons that I picked him. Another is that he was the youngest that I could find. I want to be able to sponsor him until he is out of the program. Maybe one day visit him and see how he's doing over there.

oh and Lecrae was awesome.

p.s. I might be in South Africa next January through March teaching members of the local churches in Cape Town how to play music and more specifically worship music. I'd be going with good friend of mine who is a great worship leader.

this is awesome


and this song is on my heart along with the one way above


B.James

Emotion

First off, I would like to marry Imogen Heap.

Secondly, I've recently been going through a lot of my music and finding a lot of great stuff such as Imogen Heap, Ingrid Michaelson, The Civil Wars, Alexi Murdoch, Adele, Fleet Foxes, Ben Rector, Elenowen, Snowden, etc. There is a lot. I had become so obsessed recently with making music sound good or be fun and catchy that I had forgotten that there is a ton of emotion put in to these songs. It is a form of art, which makes it a place full of expression.

More on Emotion. A lot can be felt through a simple face expression or text or word. I'm not saying that this is just now hitting me for the first time, but I'm just noticing it more recently, probably because I put too much meaning into anything. "Could that girl that sent me a text the other day mean something more than what she said or should I take it literally." We've all been there. Is there a deeper meaning behind those words, that expression, those pixels. Then once it takes hold of you, emotions just flow and take you farther away than what you ever wanted to go.

Emotionally recently, I've been reminiscing through high school. I read through my senior play, Robin Hood today, I had other reasons to read through it, but I got slightly emotional because I remember playing that part of Little John with those people and being at this part of the stage during this line and it was really fun. I can't let my emotions live there. I wouldn't make any progress in the present if I let myself dwell on what has been. I've got to be myself, and sure, that means reading between the lines that are between the lines at times and assuming things in my head(similarly to Kurt in Glee if you watch Glee (except not Gay)). I'll just keep living, letting my emotions out on here and into the ears of some fantastic friends that are out there.

Funny, Imogen Heap's album which that song is taken from is called Speak for Yourself.

B.James

Quick Rebuttal.

So this song completely entices how I feel/have felt. It's like, so true that it almost has to be false.

Now, what I wanted to reemphasize was the part about God's love and how that's all you or I really need. I recognize that God's love is better than any other love I can find, and I do strive to live in his love. However, often times, I find myself not wanting to because I want worldly love, human love, love that won't last but a lifetime. It has really started to eat away at me, this desire for a girlfriend. I'm not "desperate" because I'm not going to settle for just anyone, but I definitely want someone to enter the picture in this role. I feel as though I have been close to that role with a couple different people in the past year or two, but as I said in the last post, due to circumstances and such, they didn't happen. I don't want that ending, it feels, unfinished, incomplete, open. Back to the song, it has a lot of feeling in it, but in a sadish pop melody, which is why I love it, because to teens, it's so tragic and I like tragic, even though, my feelings would definitely be more of a death metal were they to be turned into a song. I'm tired of waiting for a happy ending.

Love

Fun video I made in Highschool. Probably my favorite project to work on.


Love is such a loaded word in not only my life, but society in general today. What does it mean? Unconditional? Passion? Care? Friends? Relationships? Sex? Recently God has been pounding the principles of love into me. Personally, as a Christian, I've been growing tired of the here's love spelled out to you in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. It's often referred to as the "love" chapter, but as humans we can never fully completely understand what depth of love God has for us. But just like so many other times as I read passages and single verses of scripture, I forget the context of the passage. Sure 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 can stand alone, but we often forget about verses 1-3 and 8-13. The context is that of spiritual gifts, especially Prophesy and Tongues. Paul is talking about having these gifts and not having love, and how you gain nothing through that. He then goes into what Love is and is not. Then he states that Love is eternal, but these gifts will pass away, that they are only necessary in the short term. Three things will last forever, faith hope and love and the greatest of these is love.

So now that I've preached to you on the context of Love, what does that mean, and why am I talking about it. I'm someone who is looking for love, aren't we all? But it's not always that unconditional Love God has that I'm searching for. I as a human in the flesh, desire worldly "love" or as the bible calls it, lust. I have to admit, I've definitely had some pretty bad moments, being caught up in lust, and day to day, I walk the fine line, sometimes walking on the lust side, and sometimes walking on the love side.

I've had two serious relationships in my life, both lasting just for a few months, but pretty serious none the less. For being a 21 yr. old guy in today's world, that's a pretty empty list, and coming from a guy in today's world, it's an empty list. Currently, it's been about a year and 4 months since I've been in a relationship, and seeing my friends and peers, both older, and younger, be in relationships is starting to take its toll on my desire. Yes, I have friends that are much older than me, and similarly experienced in their ways of relationships, but I am writing about me and for me right now, so sorry if you read this and think I have no reason to be struggling since you have been for more months and years than I have.

Me right now = multiple girls, who I have decent friendships with and can see myself dating them, even marrying them given the right circumstances. All of them, I've told that I liked them at one point in time, but have since backed of because of other relationships, current circumstances, common sense, past history, and straight up fear of rejection and disappointment. I like these women, not only because they have nice teeth, and are awesome, and great to hang out with, and know a good deal about who I am and where I've been, but because I desire something that they can give me, whether it's a good idea or not. In the sermon my pastor preached this morning he said "Love can wait to give, Lust cannot wait to take" This is extremely true. However, I find myself rationalizing it because for me, it's not sex and extreme physical encounters that I desire. I want a relationship to be gentle, caring, honest, and extremely laid back. So, in my mind, i'm not really "taking" anything, however, I can't wait. So if I truly desire Love, I need to learn patience, unless I want to live a lust-filled life.

Probably like many of you, I often ask the question, "when is it my turn." "where is the love of my life" "why can't I be in a relationship, or married" I thought I had found this my Senior year. We had a great friendship, never dated. We decided we were going to the end of april prom together, mid january. We got to know each other really well. We have a heart for ministry in a camp setting, we love music(or do we lust music?haha), I hadn't really let her know that I liked her as more than friends till around may or so (yes, I am extremely timid and scared when it comes to these things) however, due to circumstances of our paths of life and current schooling, it was basically Impossible. After a year of school, that flame had for the most part disappeared, more for her than me, but what can I do, force someone to like me. It wouldn't have worked anyway because of circumstances with the next year of school. So here I am, one relationship, and a year and seven months later, and I find myself thinking about her, but in a different way. It's at times when I'm worshipping, or reading scripture, especially passages that mention love, and I get a desire to pray for her. Coincidence, perhaps, God working, definitely, for what purpose, I have no clue what so ever.

Questions that you may have: would I date her if things worked out? Heck yes, but if it doesn't, that's not God's plan. Are you saying that Guys think about the little stuff too? Well I do, but I'm not like a lot of guys, so, they should. Would I date you? Depends on who you are and why you want to date me.(was a fun questionnaire thought like the facebook survey's and stuff.) Are you saying that Love and Lust can look the same? Absolutely, at least they can appear the same, it's the motive that determines which you have. (question time is over)

God has recently been putting a lot of scriptures about love in my life, and I've been eating them up. They're delicious.

What this blog basically amounts to is:
I'm impatient, selfish, extremely open, and I want to be dating someone right now. In my mind, not necessarily in a lust-filled way, but the fact that It's difficult to wait makes it appear so. I relived my senior year, and didn't get mad or regret parts of those days(weird). Scripture needs to be taken within context, even the love chapter. God knows and I don't and that's really hard to swallow. I'm like a girl with my emotions?

And, you probably want to date me.

Overdose

itunes song of the day:


Just got Lecrae's sequel album to Rehab. It's called Rehab: The Overdose. I've only listened through it once so far, but the feel is old school Lecrae (Real Talk). "Chase That" is the song that has stood out the most to me so far, mainly for musical reasons with the sick Strings intro.

Onto my life.

I am thinking and praying about possibly going to FMI in Kansas City. Now, what the heck is that some of you may be wondering. That stands for Forerunner Media Institute. It's a part of the International House of Prayer University and is located in Kansas City (funny because the Ravens just wrecked the Chiefs.) I had gone on the Ihop site for the Prayer Room broadcast and had also talked with some friends that have been there multiple times for conferences about an Internship called Fire in the Night. Both of these would be awesome, but understand that I will be at Camp this summer so the soonest this would happen would probably be January 2012. I've only heard good things from Ihop. I bunch of good friends of mine (the same I talked to about Fire in the Night) went to their Young Adult conference called Onething over Christmas Break. Unfortunately I was at the Black Rock Jr. High Retreat (still recovering from a cold since then) but I wanted to go, and probably will go next year (sorry Camp...) I've been looking for something to be passionate about. Explanation: I know my passions (Music, Film, Media, Technology) but I had been searching for somewhere I could apply these. I do lead worship at the youth group at my church, and I help lead for the Services at my church as well as others when needed. So that's application here, but I'm not really learning more about what I'm passionate about, just doing it. This Internship or Year of School(They are different) would focus myself toward learning about Christ, and my passions. Out of the Media Institute I would receive a certificate after the one year program. What that means as far a accredited schools and such, I don't know. Eventually I should probably get a college degree in something, but I'm not passionate about that right now. Howard Thurman, a famous american Theologian once said, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Music, Media, and Christ make me come alive and this opportunity in Kansas City could be just what I need to revitalize my life and Go Hard for Christ.

Sure, this is all just possibility right now, so prayers are needed. Financially, the School/Internship isn't all that expensive so I'm not worried about that. I would just like to figure out if this is somewhere God wants to lead me in the next year of my life.

Previous blog

http://whenallfadesaway.blogspot.com/

This was my previous blog, but I wanted to make a new one because I have a new Gmail acct.

Sunday Drive on Saturday

itunes song of the year:


"And I will take a step back, and I'll let you ahead.
And I will take a step away and see if you come back."

This is the first song that I listened to in the New Year. After I got home from parties/friends houses I turned my whole music library on shuffle and hit play. Sunday Drive was the first song that played. It kinda reflects my relationship with God right now, Letting him lead, but also not really following and seeing if he comes back to get me.

However this new year, the same as every new year, I want to be healthy and active and read more and play more music and this and that and blah blah blah. Every year I make resolutions to do more stuff but they never come to fruition, so maybe this year I should just play the Background.



‎"God is our refuge and strength, an everpresent help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall to the heart of the sea."-Psalm 46:1-2